Wow! I'm not sure I could have ever been prepared to answer this heavy question and tonight, as I tucked my sweet eldest son into bed, after being gone from him for a few days, that was the question he popped on me.
Teary-eyed, I answered him that God let him have diabetes, but that he loves him very much and promises to take care of Him. We talked about it for awhile and I asked him how he felt about having diabetes and he said "good". Then, a bit later he asked "When am I not going to have diabetes?" The reality of this answer made me again quite sad and not wanting to explain in detail I answered "unless God makes you better, you'll have it your whole life".
If only I could just flat out face the Lord with those tough questions myself my relationship with Him would be so much more authentic. Tonight was really the first time we've had a heart-to-heart like that and, while the content wasn't fun, the conversation had a new depth and I was honored to listen to Tallinn's deep concerns and be a part of what goes on in his head.
A little later we talked about the new possibility of getting a "diabetes" dog. I asked him if he wanted me to pray about it and he said "No, let's talk about the dog first." I went over the list of responsibilities it would require-cleaning up poop, feeding, exercising, which he agreed to do. Then, he came up with a name--Scooby Doo Adventure :). After we finished talking about it I asked Tal if he wanted to talk about anything else. He said "Let's pray about the dog."
So, we did and God is good and I am thankful for this little honest conversation we had, just the two of us. And, while I know this is just the beginning of many questions to come...I feel like we connected and addressed his four-year-old concerns with hope.
I'll finish this post with Tal's life verse as I feel it so applies to what he is going to face in the future.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6
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Oh Al, great answers to really hard questions. What a sweet boy trying to make sense of the world he knows and the things he's being taught. Glad you got the chance to process together.
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